Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
