I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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