Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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