what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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