Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
