She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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