Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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