i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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