so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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