Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Come see our sink grown plant.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize
