dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
