To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
