I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize