He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
