I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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