Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
