Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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