Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
