and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
