I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
