You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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