i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
