her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
