i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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