I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
