dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
