we're blogging at a bar
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
