im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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