i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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