It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
