I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
