I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
