i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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