That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
