Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
