i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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