just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize