He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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