doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
