have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize