You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize