But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And then the night went full on bisexual.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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