well you can't waste a boner
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize