That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
