Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize