Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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