i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
