I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
