just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
