just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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