Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
