have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
