I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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