is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
