Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
